In honour of Sex T-Rex’s next Genre Comedy, I’m a-crackin’ out another high-larious randomizer. We started with Pulp Archeology Adventure with Callaghan, moved to Science Fiction with Leviathan, and now we’re taking it back to the Ol West! Yes, there’ll be some roots scooted to be sure in WATCH OUT WILDKAT! (Yer Dealin’ With the Devil)
So you’re probably wondering how Cowboys talk. Lucky for you we’ve got this COWBOY QUOTE GENERATOR to figure it out for you.
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
Step 1- Get a d20. If you’re not nerdy enough to know what a d20 is, it’s a die with 20 faces on it. If you’re not nerdy enough to HAVE a d20, Google that bad boy, and you can find life-like simulations online. Or use your imagination to generate numbers- whatever- I believe in you.
Step 2- “Roll” the “die” three times, and match up your results in each column for your very own GENERATED COWBOY QUOTE! Some rules apply-
a) The “…” fields represent “nothing”, which Cowboys often say.
b) A bracketed phrase indicates that you can choose to include, or not include the enclosed phrase.
Step 3- Enjoy your cowboy quote (for example a roll of 20, 6, 16 would be “A real wild cowgirl.”).
Here she be:
|2||You look like||a yellow-bellied||eyes|
|3||There’s||a right fine lady||is always your best bet|
|4||Draw||my deputy||like lightning|
|5||I’m-a lookin’ fer||a Gringo||spitoon|
|6||Don’cha know||a real wild||y’all|
|7||I’m-a gonna git||the Queen of Hearts||at high noon|
|8||Way over yonder||gold||stallion|
|9||My pa was||American||on the range|
|10||Shootin’||a mad dawg||with my/yer boots on|
|11||I killed||smokin’||(a) shotgun|
|12||It’s a hell of a thing||your gun||sheriff|
|13||You’ll be eatin’||bullets||Y’hear?|
|14||Howdy||Moonshine||in the sunset|
|15||I’m ridin’||(the) tumblin’ tumbleweed||(‘s) spurs|
|16||I only drink||Shootin’||cowgirl|
|17||Damn (yer)||(in an) outhouse||Yee-haw!|
|18||I’ll die||(on) the dusty trail||in Bear Mountain|
|19||Y’all (are)||a-way down south||Pardner|
Enjoy, and post your favourite results as comments here or on our Facebook!
(Cowboy Quote Generator co-created with Josef Addleman and Kaitlin Morrow)