Friends, the wordplay of Julian Frid here. It is my pleasure to share with you an experience, of such prestige and pomp and circumstance, (57%, 13%, 30ish%, respectively) that rare few have had, that this may well – blow your mind. I’m aware of the risks of reading. I hope you’re sitting down safely at your computer and not on a boat or something – because I am going to drop some knowledge. I am close to be a graduate of university.

This is part 1 of a 3 ½ part series!

University: You’ve heard of it I’m sure! The Ivy league! The big top! The duran duran! University is one of the better things you can do with your young, invincible lives – fore what is more invigorating than spending your nights embraced in the words of some dead smart person? Sources tell me that there are few things that are better. My favourite moment was…

Now I remember; when I first began the university. More specifically, my first philosophy course where I suspected I would be taught lessons that few street-people knew, let alone UNDERSTAND. Philosophy, for those not in the know, is the art of talking about what would be nice in life to do, but just write and talk about it and not do it – because therein lies the paradox…

Philosophy. Such philosophical musings were locked away, and I would learn them. I expected I would learn what the best life was. Which would specifically be: to go live on a mountain, hide away for 4ish years, proclaim to a small village that a God has died or something or become batman, after some time of being Socratisish or Batman, be chased out, sail on a tallship for four score years, fight in a war, lead a revolution, drink in Paris to mend your once broken heart, and then settle down w/tenure at the University of Toronto.

When my professor walked up to the podium in the auditorium, I expected nothing less than this story I just made up. But instead, he started playing jazz music at the onset.

Jazz music?! At an academic institute?! How outlandish – how…amazing. Surely the University was so comfortable with itself that it dared tarry into N’Orleans nights like some jazz bo. This was the place of kings, or at least musicians! And then the lecture started and it was exciting, but I forget what it was about. But the jazz music remained.

And so, if any of you have not gone to university this is what you missed in your first year. (Now: look up Jazz on youtube and either be charmed or infuriated by it – or – if you’re on a boat, you’ve should chart the stars sailor.)