ADOPTION

A Dad makes a phone call. No one picks up

Oh shoot… hi there Jacob it’s Daddy. Was hopin to catch you before you dashed off to work but I guess they work ya hard in the big city. Real great seein ya over the holidays and hearing about your big projects in Fredericton. Real shame Robin couldn’t make it but, we understand, you’re divorced, so, maybe next year.

Ah, listen son, there’s something we’ve been meanin to tell ya we just… ah, haven’t… well shoot we’re always so darned happy to see you and there’s never enough time over the holidays and I guess it just slips this old block of wood so…Jacob you’re adopted.

We bought you out of the back of a pick-up truck for $150 and a bottle of Oxycontin. It was the eighties so that Oxy wasn’t cheap- I mean you turned out great and we’re proud of you and all but hot Jiminy was the Cotton hard ta come by!

He stops suddenly

Ah, shoot

Redial

Hi Jacob, think your machine cut me off a bit early there. I was just sayin’ how expensive you were, even before the braces, and- Hmm, I guess you might get this message first. Okay well just in case ya do, Jacob it’s Daddy just callin’ to say you’re adopted. And your mother an I are real sorry we waited until after your divorce to tell ya-

Stops again

Well how long do they give ya?

Redial

Jacob, you’re adopted, it’s Daddy, gimme a call

Hangs up

Jeez

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