COWBOY QUOTE GENERATOR!!!

In honour of Sex T-Rex’s upcoming preview of our next Genre Comedy, I’m a-crackin’ out another high-larious randomizer.  We started with Pulp Archeology Adventure with Callaghan, moved to Science Fiction with Leviathan, and now we’re taking it back to the Ol West!  Yes, there’ll be some roots scooted to be sure in WATCH OUT WILDKAT!  (Yer Dealin’ With the Devil)

So you’re probably wondering how Cowboys talk.  Lucky for you we’ve got this COWBOY QUOTE GENERATOR to figure it out for you.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:

Step 1- Get a d20.  If you’re not nerdy enough to know what a d20 is, it’s a die with 20 faces on it.  If you’re not nerdy enough to HAVE a d20, Google that bad boy, and you can find life-like simulations online.

Step 2- “Roll” the “die” three times, and match up your results in each column for your very own GENERATED COWBOY QUOTE!  Some rules apply-

a) The “…” fields represent “nothing”, which Cowboys often say.

b) A bracketed phrase indicates that you can choose to include, or not include the enclosed phrase.

Step 3- Enjoy your cowboy quote (for example a roll of 20, 6, 16 would be “A real wild cowgirl.”).

Here she be:

1 You’re dead whiskey
2 You look like a yellow-bellied eyes
3 There’s a right fine lady is always your best bet
4 Draw my deputy like lightning
5 I’m-a lookin’ fer a Gringo spitoon
6 Don’cha know a real wild y’all
7 I’m-a gonna git the Queen of Hearts at high noon
8 Way over yonder gold stallion
9 My pa was American on the range
10 Shootin’ a mad dawg with my/yer boots on
11 I killed smokin’ (a) shotgun
12 It’s a hell of a thing your gun sheriff
13 You’ll be eatin’ bullets Y’hear?
14 Howdy Moonshine in the sunset
15 I’m ridin’ (the) tumblin’ tumbleweed (‘s) spurs
16 I only drink Shootin’ cowgirl
17 Damn (yer) (in an) outhouse Yee-haw!
18 I’ll die (on) the dusty trail in Bear Mountain
19 Y’all (are) a-way down south Pardner
20

Enjoy, and post your favourite results as comments here or on our Facebook!

(Cowboy Quote Generator co-created with Josef Addleman and Kaitlin Morrow)

 

1001922_454174231344722_158882957_n“I’m ridin’ Moonshine like lightin’!”

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/ IMPROV TEAM NAME GENERATOR!!! ~

Sex T-Rex has a beautiful blessing, and that is the blessing of a name that people seem to like.  Improv team names are a strange breed: Right now Robin and I are out on tour, and we frequently read signs and discuss wether they are improv team names, band names, or just stupid and funny.  There’s something special about the naming of an Improv team, and I’ve tried to capture that in the new 2011 IMPROV TEAM NAME GENERATOR!  Use it for your next team or just make up some names and laugh about them.  Either way you have my endorsement.

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:

Step 1- Get a d20.  If you’re not nerdy enough to know what a d20 is, it’s a die with 20 faces on it.  If you’re not nerdy enough to HAVE a d20, they can be found in numerous online simulators.

Step 2- “Roll” the “die” three times, and match up your results in each column for your very own GENERATED IMPROV TEAM NAME!  Some rules apply-

a) The “…” fields represent “nothing”

b) A bracketed phrase indicates that you can choose to include, or not include the enclosed phrase.  Otherwise you must slavishly follow the generator even if you have a very funny and reasonable alteration.  Not allowed!

Step 3- Enjoy your team’s name (for example a roll of 20, 6, 15 would be “Goddamn Face”).

Here she be:

1 That Improv (and) company
2 Breakneck Make-Believe Society
3 Improv Banana Crunch
4 Everybody loves And Jam
5 Danger Grain-Fed Life
6 Too Many Goddamn Tyrannosaurus
7 The New Sub-Prime (with) Andy
8 Urban For Weasels
9 The Bear(‘s) Fishing …‘s Day Off
10 Poop Dancing Party
11 The Unwed Grandpappy(’s) Cousins
12 Tremendous Without Service Animals
13 Not your Mother’s Theory (of) WHAAAAAT?
14 Dead Man’s Kitten And a Baby
15 Moustache-Free Poop Face
16 Shoeless Joe’s Gluten-Free Crabs
17 The Great Flying Improv
18 Remember (the)… Taste Thing
19 Baritone Sex Poop
20

Fun, isn’t it.  You’re having fun!  Really, WE’re having fun.  So, enjoy, and post your favorite results as comments here or on our Facebook group.  The best one will win a free Sex T-Rex Gold Club Membership!  Ooooooh!  Gold!

Paleontology 1

I’m going to Blog you a tale… a tale of the first time I ever saw Sexual Tyrannosaurus do improv back in 200something.  2008?  Back then there were four members of the soon to be stylishly abbreviated Sex T-Rex, and they were all friends of mine, more or less, so they had the pull to get me out to see an improv show.  That’s the unwritten beginning to all great tales, by the way.  Frodo probably saw some killer Dwarf-prov just before the book got started.

This show was at a place called the Savannah Room, and I think you can still see its husk somewhere along College, west of Spadina.  As a side note, in later years, when we’d do our Sex T-Rex and Friends show at the Free Times Cafe, I’d always walk past the old Savannah Room on my way to the show and be reminded of these primordial days with the guys.  The Savannah room holds fond memories for me… a lot of Rickard’s White, and some very Heavy Metal wall art.  But more than the wall art, there were the shows.

The first shows were all part of the improvisational killing fields of Impatient Theatre’s “Cage Match”, where two teams would take the stage, the audience votes and someone falls out of the running for a cash prize.  It was a good environment for a starting team, with built-in fire under the ass, and built-in incentive for attracting a faithful audience.  Also good specials on Rickard’s White.  Did I mention that already?

So, my friends take the stage, and they get their audience suggestion.  They asked the crowd for a movie they liked, and they wound up with “A League of Their Own”.  I could be getting this wrong, but I’m pretty sure none of them had ever seen it, so they wound up getting the audience to describe it to them, “It’s an all girl baseball-team during World War II” is what they got.

The details of the set are blurry, but what I can say for sure is that there were a lot of British and German accents of varying quality, someone tried to play Rosie O’Donnell (I’m thinking it was Conor) and it was very, very funny.  I do remember heading down to the basement bathroom and thinking, “Man, what a blast that must be- I wanna do that too.”  I’m pretty sure I was looking at a decal for some band called “The Knifings”.

The guys had done a good set, and they’d killed my pet peeve about improv- when the audience’s suggestion is ignored.  Watching Sex T-Rex was fun for me because I felt like I was in on the joke and knew just as much (or as little, as the case may be) about what was happening as the people on stage.  I thought the movie-suggestion idea was great; for one thing, everyone seemed to enjoy proposing movies, and for another, instead of just giving a single kick-off point for a set, it gave a whole parcel of ideas that can be unpacked as much and as faithfully as need be.  The team would stick with it for the whole competition, and it remains one of our go-to formats.

-Seann