In honour of Sex T-Rex’s upcoming preview of our next Genre Comedy, I’m a-crackin’ out another high-larious randomizer.  We started with Pulp Archeology Adventure with Callaghan, moved to Science Fiction with Leviathan, and now we’re taking it back to the Ol West!  Yes, there’ll be some roots scooted to be sure in WATCH OUT WILDKAT!  (Yer Dealin’ With the Devil)

So you’re probably wondering how Cowboys talk.  Lucky for you we’ve got this COWBOY QUOTE GENERATOR to figure it out for you.


Step 1- Get a d20.  If you’re not nerdy enough to know what a d20 is, it’s a die with 20 faces on it.  If you’re not nerdy enough to HAVE a d20, Google that bad boy, and you can find life-like simulations online.

Step 2- “Roll” the “die” three times, and match up your results in each column for your very own GENERATED COWBOY QUOTE!  Some rules apply-

a) The “…” fields represent “nothing”, which Cowboys often say.

b) A bracketed phrase indicates that you can choose to include, or not include the enclosed phrase.

Step 3- Enjoy your cowboy quote (for example a roll of 20, 6, 16 would be “A real wild cowgirl.”).

Here she be:

1 You’re dead whiskey
2 You look like a yellow-bellied eyes
3 There’s a right fine lady is always your best bet
4 Draw my deputy like lightning
5 I’m-a lookin’ fer a Gringo spitoon
6 Don’cha know a real wild y’all
7 I’m-a gonna git the Queen of Hearts at high noon
8 Way over yonder gold stallion
9 My pa was American on the range
10 Shootin’ a mad dawg with my/yer boots on
11 I killed smokin’ (a) shotgun
12 It’s a hell of a thing your gun sheriff
13 You’ll be eatin’ bullets Y’hear?
14 Howdy Moonshine in the sunset
15 I’m ridin’ (the) tumblin’ tumbleweed (‘s) spurs
16 I only drink Shootin’ cowgirl
17 Damn (yer) (in an) outhouse Yee-haw!
18 I’ll die (on) the dusty trail in Bear Mountain
19 Y’all (are) a-way down south Pardner

Enjoy, and post your favourite results as comments here or on our Facebook!

(Cowboy Quote Generator co-created with Josef Addleman and Kaitlin Morrow)


1001922_454174231344722_158882957_n“I’m ridin’ Moonshine like lightin’!”

2 thoughts on “COWBOY QUOTE GENERATOR!!!

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